Of Weeds & Charred Cookies

I was excited to surprise Scott with cookies after he’d been on the phone setting appointments last night.

This isn’t quite what I was hoping for. (Sondra, I’m so sorry I’ve annihilated your wonderful cookie recipe. I simply don’t know what happened.)

I pulled them out of the oven and laughed out loud. They were as flattened as soldiers crawling on their bellies through underbrush. Then, I got the spatula and cracked up even more as slivered pieces flew through the air.

“I mean, seriously? What in the world?” I heckled myself.

Scott was gracious. He said they tasted fine. I’m sure he must have been delusional or is still unsure how to react to his new bride’s kitchen skills.

Fast forward to today. Walking home from a doctor’s appointment I spotted flowers I’d never seen. Like a little girl, sans pigtails, I waded through the wet grass banks and picked some.

Lately, I’ve been buying a single flower (Gerber daisy or rose–whatever is on sale) for a vase in our bathroom. Fresh flowers make me extremely happy, I realized. Well, today the Lord surprised me with a bouquet.

As I walked along, with the little creations of pink and yellow and white in hand, I suddenly wondered, what if what I think are flowers are really weeds? Then I laughed at the lesson before me: the weeds of God are more amazing than my burned cookies! Even if they are wildflowers (feel free to let me know in the comments), they’re scattered with no plan and aren’t tended by anyone. Yet, with my best skills, a college degree, and focused attention, look how my dessert turned out.

Then God brought to mind:

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength. –1 Corinthians 1:25

 

Gardening 101 (May newsletter)

I’m not a gardener. (I know you’re shocked; I see you eyeing those grape-and-crimson-colored flowers above. But honestly, Wal*Mart handed them over to me just like that.)

When I say I’m not a gardener it’s 1) because my history has been one of killing plants instead of helping them live and, 2) I’m impatient. Enough already of the watering and sun and all; gimme more than dirt. Lemme see growth.

I feel a bit like a forth-grader who is sent home with a Dixie cup, dirt and a seed to teach her valuable lessons on agriculture with a side of patience. And that little 9-year-old goes home with cup in hand, plops down on the front porch step and sobs because she has no superpowers to make it grow at microwave-speed.

Yet as transformation and life percolates under the surface in the flower box on the front porch, my eyes are left unprivy. This wonder occurs in other places, too. In a cocoon during a month-long wait. In the womb over 40 weeks. In the tomb during a dark three days.

In my heart during this season.

And so I’m learning a few things, in Gardening 101.

God’s not nearly in the hurry that I am for growth. I see a fertilized rectangle of uniform brown and, daily, I’m begging it to sprout. The days drag on without a hint of green. I start to wonder if I’ve over watered. Or under watered. Or put seeds too close together and they’re duking it out underground, with some now unconscious.

But God isn’t worried. He’s ordained for each of His seeds, and for His children, just the right conditions—sun, rain, and sometimes manure—that will grow us into His likeness.

God knows more and, therefore, I need to seek His direction. Somehow I forget my lack of knowledge and often just jump into the dirt. Sure, I don’t know what I’m doing, but fevered activity counts, right? But I end up looking like Pigpen on Peanuts, with a swirl of mess and stink swirling around me. Instead, what if I paused and asked God what He’d like me to do today? Shall I water? Or pull weeds? Or plant more seeds? Or go help someone else with their garden? Or…simply rest?

God makes it grow. I’m disillusioned to believe otherwise. Yet I’m called His fellow worker. “[Paul] planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers” (I Corinthians 3: 6-9).

The more I play gardener, the more I am humbled as I see how nothing I do produces growth. Yet, the more I play gardener, the more excited I get to play a role, to have a stake in the life God creates. And my life gets involved; I’m no longer an innocent bystander.

But, ultimately, I think God might be making me a gardener because, as I play in the dirt, I look a bit more like my Father, the true Gardener.

 

Easter Matters (April newsletter)

Kelly was the cool girl at my (Angie) junior high school in Lincoln, Nebraska. The popular crowd seemed to revolved around her, as did the athletic and GQ-looking boys. Oh, and she was on the dance squad. (How envious we closet-dancers were of her.)

When I thought of her I assumed she had the world at her 14-year-old fingertips.

Fast forward 20 years to last week when I saw her on Facebook, an online networking community. My interest peaked, anxious to catch a glimpse of grown-up Kelly’s life. After a few moments of scanning family photos and reading of her interests and work, my eyes fell on her response to the category, religious views.

“Does it matter?” she wrote.

Serving as a missionary, I’ve heard a lot of responses to questions such as this, but for whatever reason, I was especially struck by what her word choice. And saddened that she’s preaching that belief, whether she realizes it or not, to her little one at home.

Granted, I don’t know the tone behind those words—it could be hurt or a true skepticism, but I wager it’s not.

My guess is that her pseudo-yawned response is due to the fact that she has never heard that there’s a Life beyond what she knows. The religion she’s seen hasn’t done any stirring of her soul besides to apathy. I can’t help but wonder if she’s ever met anyone who truly follows Jesus.

This Easter weekend I’m reminded all the more that God put skin on to walk with us, to take on our sin for the purpose that we could have relationship with Him. That we would have abundant Life. Life to the fullest.

Oh, Kelly. It matters. More than you realize.

Josh McDowell

Continuing in the Bentley-newsletter series introducing parts of the Campus Crusade for Christ family, this month we highlight Josh McDowell.

This ministry is personal to us. Back in 1999, Scott lived in Salt Lake City and wanted to see if the Bible was true amidst being such an old book. He bought Josh’s Evidence That Demands a Verdict from Barnes & Noble. He was shocked to learn about the prophesies Christ fulfilled and the reliability of the Bible versus other religious texts. It was a stepping stone on the path of choosing to follow Jesus in 2003.

Josh was a skeptic until he set out to disprove Christianity…and ended up being won over himself. Now, 44 years into full-time ministry, his team’s desire is “To serve others until the whole world hears that Jesus is God, the Bible is true, God is passionate about a relationship with each person and that the Christian faith is relevant, reliable and relational.”

Prayer Requests

• For God to open spiritual eyes of people like Kelly (first story) and Scott (above) this season of Easter. That they’d ask questions and find themselves open to conversations with believer friends or books (like Josh’s newest one above, Evidence for the Resurrection).
• For us as we celebrate one year of marriage on April 19. What a year! Please pray that we’d continue to grow in the Lord both together and individually. May our marriage point people to Jesus.

 

Serving Missionaries From Behind a Desk (March Newsletter)

No, it’s not “Where’s Waldo?” You won’t find Scott. Yet. It’s a picture of Scott’s team, Desktop Services, celebrating Christmas together (and bemoaning that Scott’s missing, we’re sure. ) The entire IT department at the world headquarters for Campus Crusade for Christ (of which Desktop Services is a part) numbers more than 70 people.

—————————–

Over the past few months, Angie and I (Scott) have been focusing on some of the many ministries within Campus Crusade for Christ. This month we decided to touch on the team I’ll be serving with at our world headquarters, ITG (Information Technology Group).

The vision statement for ITG is, “Connecting people together to fully live out their calling…everyone, everything, every place.”

We have several departments within ITG – mine is called Desktop Services. I had the unique opportunity to work on the team and try it out last year when I moved to Orlando to be closer to Angie. I met Cheryl and Jim (below) during that time.

“Ugh…ever since daylight savings occurred, the calendar on my phone has been off by an hour. I’ve tried fixing it on my own, but it still doesn’t work. I’ve come close to missing several appointments because of this. What do I do?”

That’s what Cheryl – one of the 1,000 staff members at Campus Crusade’s world headquarters – was thinking when she came to my (Scott) desk. She was at her wit’s end.

It took a little time, but we were able to get her calendar and phone to sync up together, so she wouldn’t miss any important meetings.

“My laptop is so slow. It happened after I opened an email from a friend of mine. Can you fix this for me?”

This was Jim’s problem when he stopped by our help desk. Our team quickly diagnosed the issue and successfully cleaned out the virus on his laptop. We are also able to serve our missionaries who are assigned overseas.

My team has the ability to connect remotely into our staff members’ computers via the internet. Once we’re logged in, we have the capability to fix their computer issues for them. (Angie thinks it’s magic, but I tell her we’re just highly-trained professionals.)

Our goal is, in part, to free up our missionaries to do what God’s called them to do, without frustration when computer hassles come their way – so that more people have an opportunity to hear about Jesus.

Letters to Scott’s Team (ITG)

“Friends, your work does not go unnoticed. The Lord is mindful of your every deed. Your ministry is appreciated by so many; we can only live in Russia due to your diligent work. Thank you for embracing God’s call, and sacrificing for our sake. The students of Russia hear the gospel because of your faithfulness.” —Kara

“To all you who help make my life run, I hate details. I hate planning things. I hate trying to figure out answers to the questions that you all deal with daily. Because of all this, I am thankful that you guys do it all. Because of what you are doing back there, it enables me to be here in Rome, Italy. So thanks for partnering to reach the world for Christ.” I may make a little impact here in Rome but you guys make it for all parts of the world. Thanks.” —Chris

Prayer Requests

• An obvious target for Satan to thwart our mission is to attack our computer systems and those who manage them. In the past few months, an unusually high number of people serving in ITG have been afflicted with very serious illnesses. Please pray for perseverance for these men and women and for them to experience a closer relationship with our Father during this time.

• We are in the testing phase for some new software that has many benefits, including videoconferencing. Our missionaries in the field will be able to use the internet to connect to headquarters for weekly, interactive-training sessions. These sessions will touch on many computer-related tasks staff members require for their work. In addition, the software will also free up Campus Crusade’s leadership to not need to travel as often, saving them time and saving the ministry money.

 

Lilies that don’t labor or spin

Thank you, JF! Wow, can I say I was blown away when the doorbell rang? The lilies are beautiful and a perfect reminder of Matthew 6:25-34 you wrote down.

Thanks for letting God love me through you today.

 

What’s Really “Amazing”

Scott perused over a document he’d just synced to his phone while I was driving us home from Lincoln. We’d enjoyed a fun appointment with a new friend and now, driving home, Scott had been making calls.

It was getting late, so the calls stopped and his never ending fascination with his phone resumed.

Keys clicked on the Blackjack phone. Tires crunched on the snow-packed roads.

“It’s amazing,” I said with a singsong-newlywed tone, “how we’re together almost 24/7 these days.” (Referring to our working-together jobs.)

“What’s amazing,” he said seconds later, “is that I can read a 33 megabyte file from my phone.”

Silence.

“Wow, I can’t believe you just said that,” I said shocked but not shocked. “You missed a potentially very romantic moment there, Honey.”

I couldn’t play mad; it was too funny.

“Scott, we have to write these down for future generations–things like this and the Halloween candy story.”

I have a feeling that many of our marriage communication foibles like this will involve conversations in moving vehicles.

What funny male v. female stories about communication do you have? We want to hear!

 

Getting My Angie Self Out of the Way (Jan newsletter)

Women sprawled out all over the floor because we ran out of chairs. Forty-nine women indicated that they wanted to place their trust in Christ as a result of the Christmas Gathering outreach Sondra (right) and I hosted. (Cue angels.) Sondra baked an amazing spread of cookies and I talked about gifts (the giver, the recipient and the gift itself) and transitioned to Jesus being the best gift ever given.

Oh, wait. The cookies and the talk, that happened. But the 49 women? No. That was a dream. The reality was that 4 women came. And no lives were changed as far as I could see. Only four, Lord? I mean, really? We were so excited to see what You’d do in our neighborhood. Surely women are seeking this time of year? And we did everything “right” — Sondra hand delivered 40 invitations and talked with many of her neighbors.

What do we do with seeming failures and disappointments like this? My heart tends to sink and say, “I’ll take my ball and go home now. I don’t want to play anymore.”

And yet, was this a failure? When I stop and tell my feelings to hush for a minute, I realize it’s not. I know God is the God who leaves the 99 to go after the one. And there were 4 “ones” around our table. (See below.)

Since when have I become a superhero, equipped with x-ray vision to see hearts? I have no idea the extent of what God did on that cold Sunday afternoon in December. But I know one thing He did in mine: My self gets in the way too often. Truth be told, I want to see lives changed. I want to invest in things of great return. I…I…I. See the problem? I do. So God’s been challenging me to take on His strength and take my Angie self out of the way. To fix my eyes on Him and His purpose and timing.

Early on in my involvement with Campus Crusade I learned a definition of evangelism I think I’ve forgotten at many key moments (like the moment we closed the door after the last guest left): evangelism is sharing the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results to God. (When in the Christian life has the focus ever been about me?)

Do you wonder if missionaries struggle, too? (Read a bookmark that really got my attention about pride vs. humility.)

Now a month later, I am so glad we stepped out in our neighborhood even if it didn’t turn out like we’d planned. We 6 had a great time laughing together and discussing opening the real meaning for Christmas. One new friend indicated she would like to be in a Bible study that Sondra’s starting. Who knows the rest of the story?

 

Gram’s memorial service tomorrow

Tomorrow we’ll celebrate the life of Ethel Maree Shaneyfelt–known to us grandkids as Gram–tomorrow in Aurora, Nebraska. (I’ll leave my plaid seersucker pants at home.)

She was a grandma who sat through endless hours of softball innings, plays and screeching-violin concerts.

You are missed, Gram! I’m so thankful the Lord allowed you meet the man of my dreams and be a part of our wedding.

 

Merry Christmas!

May you experience the Hope sent 2000 years ago.

We’re enjoying our first married Christmas together…hats and all.

 

Thankful

We just finished rip-roaring card games of Pitch and Presbyterian Poker and are laying on our turkey-stuffed tummies.

We are thankful.

• For a country where we experience freedom in ways that allude much of the world, like India.
• For a wonderful start to our marriage and for the encouragement we’ve received these 7 months.
• To be within an hour’s drive of both sides of our family.
• For God’s provision in our season of raising financial support.
• For lives that have purpose because of God’s grace.